This is why I fear credit cards

I know I’m not supposed to count chickens before the eggs hatch but a girl can dream right? And with a steady source of income, a girl can’t help but dream, and dream BIG at that. I’m not a shopaholic, but I’m sure I have a huge tendency to be one so if I can help it, I will never get a credit card. I don’t like borrowing money and being in anyone’s debt anyway.

This is me trying to lay out my bigger purchase plans so I can practice a smidge of discipline. Hopefully I get everything before the year ends.

THE GREAT SPLURGE LIST

PHYSIOLOGIC NEEDS:

1. Braces: I really want to fix my teeth, and realign my jaw. The sooner I get braces, the sooner I can get them off. Not getting any younger y’know!
Estimated cost: 30-40k max, staggered payments

2.  Lasik: I need to get a new prescription for my eyes (glasses/contacts) anyway, so why not go for the more permanent fix? I still have to see a doctor to know if I’m qualified for Lasik though.
Estimated Cost: 50k max, both eyes

3. Dance Classes/Gym membership: I get too lazy to work out at home, especially after the long commutes so I need to do my exercisin’ away from home. I can always just go jogging around MoA but dance classes just seem like more fun!
Estimated cost: ??

TECHIE NEEDS:

1. 64 GB iPod Touch 4: MUSIC + net browsing + cute camera apps.
Cost: USD 400 in retail

OR the slightly cheaper alternative

160 GB iPod Classic: MORE MUSIC. No other features though, but I’m thinking of buying a BB also, which can cover my netbrowsin’ needs. Argh indecisiveness will kill me.
Cost: USD 249 in retail

I think I can get a new iPod for a cheaper price in Greenhills (especially if I trade my old one in) but I kinda want to buy a brand new one, if only for the warranty. The Apple warranty for my current iPod has served me very well, I want that for my future iPod as well.

2. A Blackberry. Not sure what kind I want yet, but I don’t need a super fancy one. I have a separate music player and camera, so I’m not really looking for those features. Suggestions?
Estimated cost: 11-15k (for BB Curve)

3. Laptop: Not sure what kind I’m getting yet either but I want a heavy duty one that can handle my gaming needs.
Cost: ??

LONG TERM INVESTMENT:

- My own place. :p

Do you have suggestions, advice or discouragements to offer? Please do tell, I could use the opinions.

Being a Pack Rat

I am a pack rat.

I never quite understood the concept of pack light. Whenever I go out of town, or even on overnight trips, I always have the biggest bag, because I have the tendency to forget something important when I even attempt to pack light.

I just realized lately that my being a pack rat didn’t only apply to suitcases.

I have difficulty throwing away clothes. Even though I don’t think I’ll ever wear them again, I never know if I one day will. There’s always a possibility, y’know?

I have all sorts of knick knacks tucked away in a box. Event tickets, drink stirrers, cocktail umbrellas, unused table napkins with restaurant monograms…even a twisted fork that was a souvenir from a magic show. They are memories of things I’ve witnessed or been a part of or sampled.

You call it basurera, I call it sentimental.

I kept old book reports (“my GOD the grammar!), failed exams (“if I passed the exam sheet without any answers at all, would I have gotten a bonus point for neatness?”), perfect scores (“I am not a total idiot HUZZAH”), art projects (“Well what do you know. I’m crafty”).

There are files in my hard drives that date all the way back from high school (because it was high school when we first had a computer of our own). I read the files on a whim every once in a while, and sometimes I have to ask myself if the person who wrote those essays and papers is the same person reading them now.

I have archives of conversations in Yahoo Messenger. All the conversations I ever laughed at, ranted about, swooned over…they’re all sorted away by date and recipient. Oh how I wish all conversations can be archived like that, I’ve already had so many that I wish to replay over and over again.

There are messages in my phone that I keep saved in a folder, messages that have made me feel particularly strong emotions. Love, anger, excitement, giddiness… It’s always nice to relive those emotions…at least for me.

One could say that I have a lot of baggage (pun maybe subconsciously intended) and all these things just might weigh me down one day.

I don’t think so. I’m a pack rat because if I wasn’t, I have a tendency to forget important things.

And I don’t want to forget.

No rest for the wicked.

I was supposed to blog about my debut in the corporate world but the last two weeks have been extremely busy, I just didn’t have time to collect my thoughts.

Just two weeks ago, I was a prodigal nurse-racketeer whose main concern is to complete my PVP gear in World of Warcraft. I went to bed at five in the morning and woke up at noon, went to board game nights on weekends, racketed as an events/band manager and played RPGs the rest of the time. That feels like a whole lifetime away now.

Ohh carefree geeknights (actual photo)

Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy with how things are going. Learning about a very different industry is fun for me. I like having an office, and a work e-mail and work phone…something of a separate identity, yet another layer I can add to my person. Plus, I think the writer in me likes being exposed to something completely new. More chances for inspiration.

I can’t even describe how awesome my team is. It’s a small, rather elite team of young go-getting professionals that sometimes I still wonder how on earth I got accepted. You would think that there would be so much internal cattiness and politics in such a competitive business, but somehow, I don’t sense any of that here. Here’s to hoping that that doesn’t change.

It’s just that I have so much to learn and so little time to do it.

A very close resemblance to how my head feels

Most of the stress is coming from the reviewing though. Studying the ins and outs of the business would be so much easier without the looming threat of my NCLEX exam. I have several ideas that I think I can work on, but at the moment, I can’t do my research and focus my full attention on my job because of that test. My brain doesn’t have time to breathe. My weekends are spent with review books, and even the hour-long commute to work is spent reading old college notes.

No, you may not, go back to your seat.

HOO BOY I can’t wait until Feb is over.

On the upside though…It’s pay weekend! I am so getting myself new shoes.

A Kind of Burning

A Kind of Burning – Ophelia Dimalanta

it is perhaps because
one way or the other
we keep this distance
closeness will tug as apart
in many directions
in absolute din
how we love the same
trivial pursuits and
insignificant gewgaws
spoken or inert
claw at the same straws
pore over the same jigsaws
trying to make heads or tails
i take the edges
you take the center
keeping fancy guard
seeing beyond what is there
you sling at the stars
i bedeck the weeds
straining in song or
profanities towards some
fabled meeting apart
from what dreams read
and suns dismantle
we have been all the hapless
lovers in this wayward world
in almost all kinds of ways
except we never really meet
but for this kind of burning.

–

It’s works like this that make me really miss writing poetry.