I am a pack rat.
I never quite understood the concept of pack light. Whenever I go out of town, or even on overnight trips, I always have the biggest bag, because I have the tendency to forget something important when I even attempt to pack light.
I just realized lately that my being a pack rat didn’t only apply to suitcases.
I have difficulty throwing away clothes. Even though I don’t think I’ll ever wear them again, I never know if I one day will. There’s always a possibility, y’know?
I have all sorts of knick knacks tucked away in a box. Event tickets, drink stirrers, cocktail umbrellas, unused table napkins with restaurant monograms…even a twisted fork that was a souvenir from a magic show. They are memories of things I’ve witnessed or been a part of or sampled.
I kept old book reports (“my GOD the grammar!), failed exams (“if I passed the exam sheet without any answers at all, would I have gotten a bonus point for neatness?”), perfect scores (“I am not a total idiot HUZZAH”), art projects (“Well what do you know. I’m crafty”).
There are files in my hard drives that date all the way back from high school (because it was high school when we first had a computer of our own). I read the files on a whim every once in a while, and sometimes I have to ask myself if the person who wrote those essays and papers is the same person reading them now.
I have archives of conversations in Yahoo Messenger. All the conversations I ever laughed at, ranted about, swooned over…they’re all sorted away by date and recipient. Oh how I wish all conversations can be archived like that, I’ve already had so many that I wish to replay over and over again.
There are messages in my phone that I keep saved in a folder, messages that have made me feel particularly strong emotions. Love, anger, excitement, giddiness… It’s always nice to relive those emotions…at least for me.
One could say that I have a lot of baggage (pun maybe subconsciously intended) and all these things just might weigh me down one day.
I don’t think so. I’m a pack rat because if I wasn’t, I have a tendency to forget important things.
And I don’t want to forget.